I often feel that our human experience or our human existence is awkward. Part of me does not feel like I belong here. It is not a feeling of wanting to escape or that I am trying to leave, it is more of a feeling that this place is not what it should be. It is a feeling that life could be so much different than what it is now.
My mother recently reminded me that in my early elementary school years, I would constantly tell her “I am not from here. Do you know that? I am from somewhere else.” I remember drawing UFOs on plain white paper penciling in disc like ships with domes. Could this be why I feel different? I am an alien. I am a star seed.
There is a stillness in me when I reflect on this. Something my body and spirit knows deeply. Like when I say, “my name is Daosith.” It does not cause dissonance, nor do I hesitate to say it. It just feels right and truthful to me. It resonates within me. There is something about me that feels like I have been off world, that I have had non-human origin existences. I know of those experiences. There are some memories, but most of it is just a feeling or just some energetic resonance.
I got the same feeling when I read about “Wanderers” in the channeled text Law Of One:
Ra: I am Ra. Imagine, if you will, the sands of your shores. As countless as the grains of sand are the sources of intelligent infinity. When a social memory complex has achieved its complete understanding of its desire, it may conclude that its desire is service to others with the distortion towards reaching their hand, figuratively, to any entities who call for aid. These entities whom you may call the Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow move towards this calling of sorrow. These entities are from all reaches of the infinite creation and are bound together by the desire to serve in this distortion
Something resonates so deeply in the knowing of it. What I realized through these experiences is I am collecting fragmented pieces of me that shattered off when I entered this world. It is like having amnesia. When I find a fragment, the energy recall can only be described like embracing a long-lost loved family member. I am being put together like a puzzle and it is an amazing feeling. You finally get to understand something, and you find yourself saying “Yes! That is me!” A truth is recalled, and a vibrational adjustment is made to integrate the “New” information. A new paradigm takes hold.
My human nature wants to know more and understand it. I want to logically put into boxes. To make things nice and neat so I could label it and define it. Why do I have these feelings? Why do I feel so called to help? Why do I feel out of place? It is understandable for us to try to logically comprehend it all. The trouble is you cannot understand the infinite within the finite. Impossible to linearly express multi-dimensionality such as parallel lives or themes outside of time and space. It is impossible to understand it and using my logical human mind to comprehend something that cannot be understood fully, did not help.
You will discover and rediscover things about you as you move through your journey. Much like how I am drawn to being a star seed or that I feel like I am a Wander. You will find truths that offer different perspectives as you spiral up or down the infinite circle that is your life path. You can easily run down the rabbit hole of logically put things into a box. This can lead to feeling more lost and confused. Perhaps you get angry trying to answer questions like; what is the purpose for all of this? Why does this all matter?
Let me offer some insight from my own experience and how you can find some peace with it. You will find peace with it when you stop trying to figure it out and just surrender. Surrender to the multi-dimensional eternal being, that is you. That which is beyond space and time but present in the here and now. Surrender to the fact that you had a whole lot more information about you before you came into this world, but it is not lost. It is always there. It is just remembered in different ways and at different times. It is remembered through desires, through your energy, through feelings, and through your being. When you are ready to know it, it will reveal itself when your consciousness is able to integrate it. We are not meant to know everything. There will be times when you get an energetic remembrance of what is. When that happens, openly embrace your multi-dimensionality that is offered back to yourself with love. It is YOU that is returning yourself back to you. Lastly, surrender to knowing there is a higher purpose. Surrender to the knowing that you had all these experiences, and they are showing up now for a reason. It is all to help you. Help you with what? To change to our world. You are here to change the world. We are here to change the world.